It’s that time again–grab your coffee or tea, diet Pepsi or Mt. Dew, and settle in for a visit!  Here’s Cee’s link, and I’ve copied her  questions in bold–and then you’ll find my answers in bold, as well.  Let’s roll!

Here are the four Share Your World questions for this week.    I hope you have some fun playing along.  It sure is fun learning about all of us.

1. Are you left or right handed?
   
2. What is one thing you love about being an adult?
3. What do I need to unlearn?
4. What is success for me?

NOTE:  Click link to easily find Other Share Your World Week blog entries.

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CADDO’S ANSWERS:

1.  I’m right-handed—and that’s the shortest answer you’re gonna get!

2.  I mostly love being able to make all my own decisions—except when I’m sure somebody else knows better, and then I suddenly lose all confidence, and capitulate to whatever they’re doing about the least piddly small issue; it’s insane, truly.  I especially love that I’m in charge of what time I go to bed, and when and what I eat—those things I do Not solicit advice about, so don’t even go there with me about what’s “healthy”.

3.  I need to unlearn “the critical voice” in my head—it’s truly a monster, and I know where it comes from, but that’s no excuse.  It speaks of others, and me—and it interrupts when I’m talking.  And hand in hand with that, I’d like to unlearn “the need to be right” (not right-handed)—the competitive, controlling, totally useless in most situations need to be right.  I mean, grow up already—other people can have opinions.  (Okay–hear it? That’s the voice I’m talkin’ about!)

4.  Well hon, success sure ain’t about money!  Funny, how you have to adjust your definition over time—if you want to stay halfway sane, and happy.  Once upon a time in a lovely pink cloud, I thought success was spelled “happily married”.  Annht—wrong answer.  Then I thought it would be “close family ties”—annht, again.   It wasn’t “friends”, either—at least, not in my previous Blanche DuBois vision.  (I’m still trying to sort out “reality” vs Hollywood.)

So then, like choosing a card from a deck, I considered “fame” might work—of the limited, sort of brief, un-remunerated variety.  (Cue the synthesizer blog music theme.)  I watched my CV stats, and accumulated awards—ho hum (said modestly).  And then at about the 8-month mile marker, something happened—I wanted to fold up my blog tent for real.  (Periodically I get “in a mood” and think of quitting—but this was more serious.) 

I was sick of it, exhausted, bummed to the max, irritable; didn’t care if I never wrote another poem my whole “pitiful” life.  I no longer trotted my fat little person out to the computer every morning to see how many emails I had.  New follower—who cares?  Twenty-five “likes”—so what?  I was starting to scare myself, I’ll tell ya—reading double and dubious meaning into every comment!  Like a certifiable crazy person.

Well, here’s what I did:  I consulted a couple very wise blog sisters, and had a “hold my calls” conference with God—reminding Him that this blog adventure had been His idea from the get-go, and if He was ready to be done with it—fine by me.  But if He wanted me to “push through”—then we needed to figure out what the hotel was going on, that I felt so draggy and unsatisfied.

And here’s a tip for y’all:  don’t ask God questions that you might not want to hear the answers to.  And trust me, when you book a meeting with Him to discuss “dissatisfaction” with a project—by Jiminy, you’d best be ready.

Seems I’d inadvertently put all my little spotted eggs in the one “blog” basket—and there is just no way in God’s alternative www.com universe, that a small free blog can possibly make all yer dreams come true.  No ma’am.  Your user-name and password are not the equivalent of a magic wand— “ting!”  The blog was not intended to be a substitute for a happy marriage, or to salve the wounds of an estranged family. 

As for friends and fame?—well…  It’s true that I’m not recognizable on the street—but this is a good thing—otherwise I’d possibly end up writing a future post about being kidnapped!  I might make the six o’clock news—but would my blog friends and family be able to pony up the ransom to get me back??!!

Thankfully, I have regained my perspective.  “Success” is often transient, and dependent on variable conditions:  “the market”, “climate”, etc.  Whether you’re a pro-athlete, politician, corporate star, or performance artist, the pressure question is the same– “what have you done for me lately?” 

More importantly, regardless of where you stake your turf, the measuring stick for success doesn’t translate well in Eternity.  You can’t pack your financial portfolio, diplomas, and trophies with you to Heaven.  When I get to the Pearly Gates, I won’t be asked about my credentials.  Nothing I’ve accomplished apart from God will amount to a hill of pinto beans.  The only thing that counts is my passport—stamped with the blood of Jesus, His life exchanged for mine on the cross.

So, my Success is what I do for others, as unto Him—did I offer His “living water” and “bread of life”**?  Did I endeavor to walk in His love—seek to comfort, encourage (add some silliness and joy)?  Some days I read a blog comment which suggests I succeeded in doing so; but while it’s tempting to think that proves I’m pretty great, after all—my “honest and truly” hope is that folks see JESUS shining bright inside of me.   The only true “success” that does not diminish in value, and lasts forever:  my identity and purpose in Him.~

(**John 4:10,14 & 7:38; John 6:35)

Well, that’s it for another week—see you ‘round the corner!  God bless y’all BIG~and don’t forget who loves you~~your Caddo

©Caddo Veil, 2012